Losing weight is hard. Staying motivated is hard. Making the right choices and decisions is hard. Halloween candy never looked so sweet and neither did birthday cake or anniversary treats. I have fallen and today I am picking myself back up. I have 7 months to get rid of this baggage. I am mad at myself for giving up and giving in. I'm mad that all the work I did in two months, I probably gained back in 1.
I wish my body worked the way I want it to. I'm disgusted that me losing 20lbs is like a normal person losing 5lbs. I wish I could blame my parents or someone else for me being fat but considering my parents and brother are all pretty slim its me although in my defense I do think I have a chemical imbalance. I haven't been diagnosed with PCOS by my doctor but a nurse made a snide remark about how it was obvious I have it. Thanks wench lol.
I have great intentions but I need to make them hold and withstand. I need to rid my house of the bad food that has invaded it. I once babysat for a family where the mom placed photos of skinny, muscular women every where (and I think she even had motivational words with some of them). Bathroom mirrors, on the fridge, pantry and cupboard doors and at the time I thought it was so weird. I, now realize why she did it and I praise her for her dedication to achieve her goals. I haven't seen her in person for 4.5 years but from the pictures I've seen she looks fantastic.
It's time for me to step up to the plate and make my visual motivation. Saying things and doing things are two different things. I've done quite a bit of saying but not enough of doing.
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I don't know if this sounds crazy or not but I had a dream a few days ago that I was at a party celebrating you making your goal. You always look great but in my dream you were a skinny little thing and looked so good! I wish you could see that image through me, I KNOW you can do it!
ReplyDeleteOO! Me likey that dream!! haha! Thanks btw :)
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